Gold Calculator

Frequently Asked Questions

1. QUESTION:
   Where can I get a Pokemon Gold ROM for the TI-84 Plus Silver Edition calculator for free?
   I want to get Pokemon Gold for my TI-84 Plus Silver Edition calculator and I can't find one. Can somebody help me find one? Also, will I need to get a TI-Boy in order for it to work?
   Also, I want it to work. I found one that didn't work and I got errors on my calculator.

   • ANSWER:
     First of all, no Texas Instruments calculator can natively support a ROM image of any Gameboy game through the TI-OS.

     And yes, you must have TI-Boy to emulate a Gameboy game. TI-Boy is fairly new. Version Alpha 0.02 came out only a few months ago, so at the moment it supports a very small amount of games (which includes Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening, Tetris, and certain Pokemon versions).

     Theoretically, the ROM should work. There is no ROM just for the TI-84 Plus calculator (or any calculator for that matter), because the ROM is designed for the Gameboy. Therefore, TI-Boy emulates the game, just as your computer would.

     There's currently a known bug for TI-84 Plus (SE) calculators. Generally if the calculator was bought within two years, then it's too new. TI seems to have made a small hardware change during that time, which is probably the cause of these errors. You could always check the back of your calculator to find its revision number. Above the battery case, there should be a long string of digits. If it ends in H or later, then it most likely won't work (though some say it is able to work up until M).

     In any case, it's just an Alpha version right now, far from official release. You should probably wait until at least a Release Candidate version comes out, so that most bug fixes should be implemented by then.

2. QUESTION:
   does anyone know where i can buy a gold calculator belt? ive seen it on ebay but can i trust it?

   • ANSWER:
     hello I'm buy stuff all the time on eBay and i always got what i bold...

3. QUESTION:
   What are some ways to use a calculator in 1848 which is related to the gold rush?

   Sorry if I put it in the wrong category. Feel free to correct me.

   • ANSWER:
     In 1848, they may have had Babbage's calculator, but I'm not that sure about the time frame, and he was not able to make it work with the machining technology of the time.

     Grandpa

4. QUESTION:
   gold jewelry calculator?
   where can i find a calculator for the value of my jewelry? I have some 14K and 18K gold rings and need to know the value before I look to sell.
   Thanks for the reply. I found this great gold calculator soon after posting the question. It is much easier to understand and use - http://www.buysellgoldandsilver.com/GoldPriceCalculator.php

   • ANSWER:

5. QUESTION:
   why do jewelers use a calculator to give me a price on gold items? What formula are they using to calculate?

   • ANSWER:

6. QUESTION:
   What is the price of gold per ounce in the US?
   I can NOT get a straight answer any where. Everywhere I look, I get stupid websites advertising gold sellers and calculators. Is it possible to get a simple answer on what the price of gold per ounce is?

   • ANSWER:

7. QUESTION:
   Using your calculator, verify that if you have 125 g of gold, you have about 3.82x1023 atoms of gold.?
   show the calculations below

   • ANSWER:
     Verified. Use wolfram alpha; it's my best friend when it comes to calculations.

8. QUESTION:
   How can I get the dynamically updated price of gold into a variable in my Perl script?
   I'm trying to create a simple form calculator that will take today's price of gold and multiply it by a number. I'm doing this on a webpage in Perl.

   So [Variable which has price of gold} * [Variable with inputted number] = Answer.

   Thanks for any help!

   • ANSWER:
     use the Finance::Quote module.

9. QUESTION:
   how many ways can the gold, silver, and bronze medals be awarded?
   If ten athletes are running in the 100 meter dash, how many ways can the gold, silver, and bronze medals be awarded?

   if you know how to use i with graphic calculator please tell me how. thank you!

   • ANSWER:
     There are 10 that can get the gold.
     There are 9 that can get the silver
     There are 8 that can get the bronze (because two already have a prize)

     Sooo 10X9X8 = 720

10. QUESTION:
    i want to sell my gold?
    does going to place or sending in pay more for gold?... do they pay good or is it not even worth it? i went on a gold calculator website that gives u an estimate and i put it 4 oz. of 10k gold rings would be like 700 dollars...does that sound right or is it a scam?

    • ANSWER:
      http://nz.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090623193028AAiX2ij

      Please read my answer here. Also the price of gold changes just like the stock market.

11. QUESTION:
    How do you calculate zakaat on gold jewellery?
    Please do not provide a link to an online calculator, they really confused me.

    What is the formula?

    • ANSWER:
      Two conditions first and then the formula.
      - Must be in your possession for one Hijri year.
      - Must reach Nisab (85g), INCLUDING the jewelery or possession for any reason because that opinion does exist but is weak, and that's not the opinion our scholars mostly take.

      you multiply the Present Value of all the gold (as used) with 2.5%. This is what you should pay at the end of each year. If you bought the gold for 2000, but it's worth 1000 now (again, as used), then your PV = 1000.

      (PV (as used)) x (2.5%) = Zakah amount.

      And Allah knows best

12. QUESTION:
    what are the differences among the HP12C, platinum and gold?
    I need to buy a financial calculator. I don`t konw if there is one better than the other.

    • ANSWER:
      I bought a HP 12C when they first came out over 20 years ago for about 0. No platinum or gold. A great Calculator to last a lifetime.
      Buy the cheaper one, unless you know you will need the additional functions and complexity.

13. QUESTION:
    how would you calculate this exactly on a calculator % move?
    In Jan 1979 Gold was 200.00 per oz and by Jan 1980 it was 800.00 per oz. Its a 600.00 gain so I thought I would divide 600/ 200 and get a 400% gain what am I missing here and how exactly do you do it?

    • ANSWER:
      its basically the percentage gain from the original value
      so the formula should be

      [(current value - old value) / old value ] x 100%

      [(800-200)/200] x 100%
      = 300%

      --updated--
      Note: if you purchased it at 200 and sold it for 800
      that is 0 from the original price.. but you have to consider your original expenses of 0. So, you have to subtract from the total cost, then divide it from your original cost. That's how you get the above formula.

      if you say 400%, then you didn't consider your original expense.

14. QUESTION:
    How does gold price markup work?
    I have been shopping for a gold necklace I did some research on gold prices and I downloaded a gold price calculator so I know how to get current prices per gram for the different karats. What I don't know is how does the markup for workmanship and things of that sort work. For example I saw a 10k gold necklace that weighed 30g for 5, at the current gold price 30g of 10k gold would be about 5 so the markup is 0 on the necklace is that right? What determines this markup?

    • ANSWER:
      Well, a necklace is not a lump of gold, there is obviously some artistry and workmanship involved. How much is it worth? That is obviously open to discussion. That said, I have observed that markups on jewelry seem quite high compared to more common consumer products. Of course, jewelers don't make as many sales every day as the corner grocery store, so I suppose the need to stay in business.

      Grandpa

15. QUESTION:
    How can I find the value of precious stones?
    I'm not looking for an exact number, just a rough estimate. I know there are diamond calculators and gold value calculators EVERYWHERE... But you never see anything for emerald or tanzanite or sapphire or anything like that. Do you guys have any ideas?

    • ANSWER:

16. QUESTION:
    Has anyone used these 'Cash For Gold' services?
    I have a lot of old gold lying around that im never going to wear again. It just sits in a jewellery box. I really need the money and was wondering which service was the best to use. There are so many to chose from.
    Ive received 2 gold packs from these company's.

    Postal gold
    Post gold for cash

    Anyone who has used any of these what is your opinion? You can use the online calculator on post gold for cash, do you really get as much as it says?

    Any help will be greatly appreciated.
    Its gold that doesnt have alot of value at all. I just need a bit of extra cash for when i go on holiday.

    • ANSWER:
      They're a total ripoff. Take your gold that you don't want anymore to a jewelry store and they will give you cash for it. You will wind up with more money that way.

17. QUESTION:
    If the Dollar is so weak, why hasn't Gold even kept up with inflation?
    In 1982, the year we had our last real big recession, Gold averaged 7 per ounce.

    Using the inflation calculator below, 7 in 1982 = ,153 today. If Gold had kept it's value, shouldn't it be at least that? And not just on a price spike, but on average?
    http://www.westegg.com/inflation/
    Gold was overpriced in 1982? I believe it's overpriced now. I took a snapshot at times of similar economic recessions then and now.

    • ANSWER:
      Uncle PB,

      I'm sending some of my best links to answer you. Agreed, Gold is a moderate hedge against inflation. But where it really shines is as a hedge against sudden currency devaluation.

      The size of the support the Fed is providing for the economy is the same order of magnitude as the economy itself. There's a lot that could still go wrong. We're nowhere near the end of this crisis, and the dollar is still under significant threat from the Fed. Even if the US and dollar make it through unscathed, don't forget FDR's overnight revaluation of the dollar in 1933. If the Fed finds its policy tools failing, they will get creative and other devaluation measures will be considered.

18. QUESTION:
    How would I put an equation with two variables on my computer to use everyday?
    I am in the gold exchange business and we have an equation we use everyday to figure up how much money to give to our customers when they want cash for their gold. The equation has two variables. Is there a way I can have a widget or something in excel that we can just click on and enter the two variables into the equation? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!! We are a small biz just getting started and it would cut out a lot of error because now we are just typing in manually with a calculator.

    • ANSWER:

19. QUESTION:
    Wow Exp to Gold at 80?
    Is there a formula or some kind of calculator i can use to tell how much gold i will get from completing a quest that gives *given* exp at level 80

    • ANSWER:

20. QUESTION:
    AOL Gold Rush Round 6 Challenge 10?
    I need help with the last clue....It involves Beatles Songs, it has a cubicle and on the desk is a computer monitor, keyboard, mouse, telephone, calculator, and a calendar with the month of October with only 30 days...on the computer screen is AOL Gold Rush.

    • ANSWER:
      8 days a week

21. QUESTION:
    TI-82 calculator two-variable analysis (Saxon advaned math leson 45)?
    I was having trouble figuring this calculator out so my mom suggested i try a yahoo group for saxon math, so here i am.

    I am on lesson 45 in my advanced math book and found out i had to use a Texas Instrument calculator to work out the problems it has on this lesson. Luckily, i had one handy that a neighbor gave to me a few months back. So i tried to work out this problem on my calculator...

    "The data in the table on the left are from an experiment involving silver (Ag) and gold (Au). On the right we have graphed the data points."

    Au 82 87 97 107 107
    Ag 9.5 5.5 7.5 1.5 4.6

    It begins to work out the problem...

    "we will use the endpoints of the line (75, 10) and (120, 1) to determine the slope, which we see in negative"

    It works it out up to this point...

    "Now we can write the equation that gives silver as a function of gold."

    Ag = -0.2Au + 25

    Next is where i have to use the calculator...

    (have to put the rest in extend question since i cant fit everything)
    "Graphing calculators use the least square algorithm to do linear regressions. All you have to do is enter the y data points in another list, and press the proper key. The TI-82 gives the following display for these data:"

    LinReg
    y=ax+b
    a=.2075
    b=25.64
    r=.7824726541

    Ok, now when i try to work it out with my calculator...

    I press [stat]
    press enter on edit
    on L1 i put 75 and 120
    on l2 i put 10 and 1
    I press [stat] again
    press the right arrow to get to calc
    go down to LinReg(ax+b)
    press enter
    press enter again
    it calculates it to...

    LinReg
    y=ax+b
    a=-.2
    b=25
    r=-1

    It seems like the calculator is rounding it in some odd fashion since some go down when they should round up...

    Now, after all of this... Can someone tell me what im doing wrong here? I'm not going to be getting the right answers if my calculator does this so i need to know before going on any further.
    Ignore the thing about yahoo groups on the top, i copied my question from somewhere else because i wasn't getting any answers there.
    My math book tells me to use that exact same calculator, and tells me to use that method, only difference is, it's saying that this TI-82 calculator should get the answer
    LinReg
    y=ax+b
    a=.2075
    b=25.64
    r=.7824726541

    but, its not getting the answer for some reason

    • ANSWER:
      The reason that the equations are different is becuase when you enter the data the calc. is trying to draw a line as best as it can through five points. This will be the most acturate equation of the two for that data. And when you put in those "end points" it is much easier to create a line through them by hand, but becuase they werent actually points of the original data then the line is a little bit off. I dont recommend doing the "end point" method unless your directions or instructor tells you to becuase in higher math classes you will have to then predict what the anwer would be farther out on that line and even though at the original points the line seems close enough when you get out quite a ways it will be very different.

22. QUESTION:
    Gold price III, the real price of Gold?
    Darth (et al).
    It struck me in our recent debate about the Gold price that we may have both lost sight of one factor. You quite rightly pointed out that the dollar has slipped so the current record highs need to be offset however what about the US policy of fixing the gold price in the 1930's? Also if we consider the low price in 1900 against the buying power of the dollar in 1900 (what was a dollar worth, equivalent in today's terms) is there a way to calculate the "real" value of gold? Using these calculations has gold increased dramatically since 1900 or is it stable?
    The current price of around 8 would have been considered a fortune in 1900....
    Can Darth or anyone with a good calculator help...?

    • ANSWER:
      Presented here are six indicators for making such comparisons in US dollars between any two years from 1790 to 2005. They are the CPI, the GDP Deflator, the Consumer Bundle, the unskilled wage rate, the GDP per capita, and the GDP.
      Descriptions of the indicators
      The CPI is most often used to make comparisons partly because it is the series with which people are most familiar. This series tries to compare the cost of things the average household buys such as food, housing, transportation, medical services, etc. For earlier years, it is the most useful series for comparing the cost of consumer goods and services. It can be interpreted as how much money you would need today to buy an item in the year in question if its price had changed the same percentage as the average price change.

      The GDP Deflator is similar to the CPI in that it is a measure of average prices. The "bundle" of goods and services here includes all things produced in the economy, not just consumer goods and services that are reflected in the CPI.

      The Consumer Bundle is the average dollar value of the annual expenditures of a "consumer unit". The consumer unit could be a family or another type of household. The main point is that spending is a joint decision of the members of the unit. The bundle increases over time as household income increases. Unlike the CPI, not only the cost but also the amount of goods and services increases over time.

      The Unskilled Wage Rate is good way to determine the relative cost of something in terms of the amount of work it would take to produce, or the relative time it would take to earn its cost. It can also be useful in comparing different wages over time. The unskilled wage is a more consistent measure than the average wage for making comparisons over time.

      The GDP per capita is an index of the economy's average output per person and is closely correlated with the average income. It can be useful in comparing different incomes over time.

      The GDP is the market value of all goods and services produced in a year. Comparing an expenditure using this measure, tells you how much money in the comparable year would be the same percent of all output.

      In 1900 the price of gold was ,67 on the stock markets.
      http://www.measuringworth.com/gold/
      If we use the CPI or GDP Deflator methods, then we get the amounts of CPI =1,93 and GDP =438,71 in 2007
      The following website gives you a calculator to work it out.
      http://www.measuringworth.com/uscompare/
      Thus, gold is worth more today at 0 than at ,67 in 1900.

23. QUESTION:
    How do i use my graphing calculator to solve this problem ???
    A golf ball is hit with an initial velocity of 130 feet per second at an inclination of 45 degrees to the horizontal. In physics it is established that the height, h, of the gold ball is given by the function . . .
    h(x) = -32x^2 /130^2 x. ( its the 32 divided by the 130 and x is added to all of that) x is the horizontal distance that the golf ball has traveled.

    Here is the problem . . Create a TABLE with TblStart = 0 and (triagle symbol thingy) Tbl = 25. To the nearest 25 feet, how far does the ball have to travel before it reaches its maximum hieght? What is the maximum height?

    I have a Ti-89 Titanium calculator and have no idea how to do this. Please help me !!!

    ps there is supposed to be a + (plus sighn) before the x.

    • ANSWER:
      Solve the problem without the calculator (this should be easy if you are old enough to have a graphics calculator - a good teacher would forbid their class until they were at least 17, assuming you ever get a teacher allowing you one at all). If you can't solve a problem on your own, throw the thing out of the window, then learn. If you rely on it, then you lose the ability to think for yourself.

      As a general rule, never have a calculator on your desk until you are sure you could solve the problem without it. By the time you get to university maths ("college math" in the US), many people do not bother owning a calculator.

24. QUESTION:
    If your sister did this to you, how or what would you....?
    feel or do about it? I have a complicated chronic illness and am totally unable to work.I had NO income for the last 3 years except for the inheritance I received when our mother died a year ago.I finally just began getting SSDI. Well, my two teenage sons and I have been barely scraping by, sometimes I would worry that we would end up homeless the next month from lack of funds. My sister, [who is 20 yrs older than me and lives in a mansion alone in an exclusive Hollywood Hills area] called me and rudely wanted to know "What the Hell's going on!" She had somehow snooped into my trust/inheritance account and wanted an explanation why so little was left, and where did this money 'disappear' to? she knows Ive been sick and hospitalized. I told her I have been using it to live and support my kids because of my situation.She told me that my health problems were ridiculous, that everyone she knows has changed their diet and they are fine. I'm 5' 7" and weigh about 105 and I eat the healthiest diet one could imagine. My body cannot absorbe nutrients & I have to get IV feedings. I owe over 100K in hospital bills. I told her all this, and she kept yelling so I hung up.

    Now today there is a message on my phone machine that she is coming here in 3 days to attend a funeral and she would like to get together for dinner and, as usual, stay at my house (as she is too cheap to get a hotel.) At dinners, she gets out her gold calculator and divides up everyones bill to the last penny. Never would she pay for anything for anyone else.

    Now, our parents are dead and I only have a few blood relatives left.
    I consider my children my family.

    Would you remain in contact with her because she is your sister?
    Would you even go to this dinner?
    Or let her stay in your house?

    I don't want to be like her, just bacause that is her nature.
    What are your opinions on this?
    I think a lot of my anger is because she had no business looking into my bank account, and I don't even know how she did it. Also, the way she dismisses my illness and how hard it's been just to keep food in the house is very hurtful. I have that Catholic School guilt about cutting her off from me completely though no matter how much I would like to.

    • ANSWER:
      What you do with that money is none of her business. I would contact the bank and find out how she was able to get that information? I wouldnt even bother to have dinner with her. Just because she is your sister doesnt mean you have to put up with her actions. Just because others are doing well doesnt mean you will do well also on this diet, everyone is different and you dont have to explain yourself to her. Who needs the extra drama. I am sure she has a different attitude when she needs something from you like a place to stay. I wouldnt bother.

25. QUESTION:
    i NEED SOMEONE TO BREAK DOWN THIS MATH PROMBLEM FOR ME.MY HUSBAND AND I CANT FIGURE IT OUT.CALCULATOR SAYS 650
    A GOLD CHAIN COSTS 5 TEN YEARS AGO. IN THE LAST 10 YEARS,THE PRICE HAS INCREASED 420%.WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THE GOLD CHAIN TODAY?
    (THE CALCUTOR GAVES US 650 WHEN WE ADDED 125 +420%)..WE NEED SOMEONE TO BREAK THE PROMBLEM DOWN...SERIOUS PPL ONLY REPLY

    • ANSWER:
      First, you need to stop typing in all caps. lol It's like you are yelling for help.

      Anywho, that said, you need to find 420% of 5. You know that it will be more because 420 > 100.

      4.20(125) = 525

      Now, add 5 + 5 because the price increased by the 5.

      You get 0.

      so, what's your problem? You didn't provide a "correct" answer, so your answer is correct.

26. QUESTION:
    i am making a calculator program on the ti 84 plus silver edition and i need help?
    i am making a game called "gamelife" and i want a way to monitor how many times each option has been clicked. the code is here. could you post the code how to do it below or just an example. thanks
    ClrHome
    Lbl 100000
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","PIMP",1,"WHITE COLLER WORKER",2,"MONKEY",63,"WARE RABBIT",64
    Lbl 1
    Menu("CHθθSE θNE","SLAP A HOE",3,"Dθ SOME POT",4
    Lbl 2
    Menu("CHθθSE θNE","WAKE UP",5,"F SECRATERY",6
    Lbl 3
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","THROW OUT CAR",7,"SHθθT IN HEAD",8
    Lbl 4
    Menu("CHθθSEθNE","LUNG CANCER",9,"2HAND KID CANCER",10
    Lbl 5
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","EAT FIRST",11,"SHOWER FIRST",12
    Lbl 6
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","WIFE FOUND OUT",13,"GET HER PREGθ",14
    Lbl 7
    Menu("CHOOSE θNE","GO TO JAIL",15,"OUT RUN PθPθ",16
    Lbl 8
    Menu("CHθθSE ONE","CLEAN UP MESS",17,"BLAME ON HEIGHBOR",18
    Lbl 9
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","LUNG CANCER",19,"DEATH BEAD:(",20
    Lbl 10
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","KID DIES",21,"PARENT SUE YOU",22
    Lbl 11
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SHOWER",23,"WAKE UP KIDS",24
    Lbl 12
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","EAT",25,"WAKE UP KIDS",26
    Lbl 13
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","WIFE LEAVES YOU",27,"THREESOME",28
    Lbl 14
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","KID GETS HIV",29,"ABORTION",30
    Lbl 15
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","JUMPED AND KILLED",31,"MEET A LOVER",32
    Lbl 16
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","DO IT AGAIN",33,"HUNT WAREWOLVES",34
    Lbl 17
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","WRK 4 MOLLYMADE",35,"SEX CHANGE",36
    Lbl 18
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","MERRY OBUSIVE WIFE",37,"RAPED BY NEIGHBORS",38
    Lbl 19
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","BECOME SUPERMAN",39,"UNICORN BIRTH",40
    Lbl 20
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","FONDLE CHILD",41,"LIFESAVINGS TO POPTART",42
    Lbl 21
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SKIP FUNERAL FOR 1OCENTS",43,"HOOKER GIVES HIV",44
    Lbl 22
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SUED FOR LIFESAVINGS",45,"MAKE NEW FRIEND",46
    Lbl 23
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","GO TO WORK",47,"SAY GOODBYE TO WIFE",48
    Lbl 24
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SCREAM AT THEM",49,"BIG HUGS",50
    Lbl 25
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","ALERGIC REACTION",51,"FINISH",52
    Lbl 26
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SCREAM AT THEM",53,"BIG KISSES",54
    Lbl 27
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","GET APARTMENT",55,"GET A DRAGON",56
    Lbl 28
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","PROMOTION",57,"GET A MONKEY",58
    Lbl 29
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","LAUGH AT KID",59,"CARE ABOUT KID",60
    Lbl 30
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","EAT PBNJ NO CRUST",61,"WIN .54",62
    Lbl 63
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","EAT BANANAS",65,"KILL MONKEY FRIEND",66
    Lbl 64
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","PILLAGE VILLAGE",67,"HOWL AT MOON",68
    Lbl 65
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","DRESS LIKE HUMAN",69,"WEAR FUN HAT",70
    Lbl 66
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SMOKE POT",71,"BECOME PRIEST",72
    Lbl 67
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","STEAL JEW GOLD",73,"KILL WOMEN & CHILDREN",74
    Lbl 68
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","HUNT HUMAN",75,"KEEP HOWLING",76
    Lbl 69
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","BUY A GUN",77,"BECOME PRIEST",78
    Lbl 70
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SLOMOTION PUNCH",79,"SLOMOTION HUG",80
    Lbl 71
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","BECOME MONKEY PIMP",1,"BECOME FAG WORKER",2
    Lbl 72
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","BABTISE MONKEY CHILDREN",83,"LEARN TO DOUGIE",84
    Lbl 73
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","SPEND ON JEW GOLD",85,"EAT/TURN INTO JEW",86
    Lbl 74
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","STEAL THE MEN",87,"RAPE MEN",88
    Lbl 75
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","FIND HUMAN",89,"FIND SHINY PENNY",90
    Lbl 76
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","STOP HOWLING",1000000,"TRY TO EAT MOON",92
    Lbl 1000000
    Exit
    Lbl 77
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","KILL A HOE",93,"HUNT BEARS WITH WOLVES",94
    Lbl 78
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","RETIRE",95,"STAR IN MOVIE MACHETE",96
    Lbl 79
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","K.O.",97,"RESTART AS PIMP",1
    Lbl 80
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","MERRY GOOSE",99,"MEET GAY LOVER",100
    Lbl 81
    Menu("CHOOSE ONE","BECOME RABBIT",6

    • ANSWER:
      You hurt my feelings on that answer you left on my am I pretty question
      thanks for making me more insecure .

27. QUESTION:
    Pokemon (Growlithe) Evs Pokemon Heart Gold?
    Guys, I need help. I bred a Growlithe and trained it to lv20. I didn't know exp share would give him Evs, So I went to the marilland calculator to check the normal stats of a wild lv20 Growlithe. They showed me the minimum and maximum stat of the pokemon which means its evs. Another column shows it when it gets ev trained min and max too. Somehow my pokemon falls on the wild pokemon stats. But from what I read it recieves Ev from exp share which I used on him. Can someone please clarify it for me or is there a way to know what Evs he recieved? I tried to do it by checking the pokemon's stats when its level 20 but it didn't work. Please Help

    • ANSWER:
      you are EV training way wrong dude...or girl.
      hope this helps, by the way stats depend of natures and a whole bunch of stuff
      snd using the Exp. Share is like the worst thing to do
      this vid should explain how to ev train...hope it helps:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jch784-3QUQ

28. QUESTION:
    What volume of 400x (200C) homeopathy liquid can I make with one ounce of gold as starting material?
    Im just curious cause I know it is big but I am lazy with the calculator.the number is so huge I would like it converted to the scale of the solar system for comparison. Like, "if it were a ball of liquid centered with the sun its edge would be somewhere between mars and the asteroid belt"
    I will rapidly award 10 points to the first one that shows their work - promise, I hate voting!

    HINT: Wikipedia has a scale that says for 60x..."10 billion times the volume of the Earth to consume a single molecule of the original substance"
    HINT 2: Avogadro's number is 6.022045X10^23
    HINT 3: 60x is 10^-50 ratio and 100x is 10^-100 ratio but I dont know if you multiply or add the log value to just multiply that by the number of molesXavagadro and then multiply that by "10 billion times the earth" then figure out the radius.

    BONUS QUESTION: same question but for the duck liver in Oscillococcinum

    • ANSWER:
      If you're at 200C, then that means that if you started out with 10^200 atoms of gold, then there would be (statistically speaking) only 1 atom of gold in your solution. Seeing how there are only 10^80 (or so) elementary particles (not even atoms, mind you, we're talking about quarks, electrons, photons, etc...) in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, there is a good (almost 100 percent) chance that you'll be working with plain water, i.e. Homeopathy is a load of crap.

      So, let's have some fun. Let's say we start working with a 1C formula. We'll have 1 gram of gold with 9 grams of water. A 2C formula will give us 1 gram of gold with 99 grams of water. 3C will give us 999 grams of water, and so on and so forth.

      200C will give us 10^200 - 1, or : 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 grams of water. For all intents and purposes, let's suppose that it's 10^200 grams of water. Why the hell not, right?

      Water has a density (at sea level) of 1 gram / cm^3, so in terms of volume, there is 1kg per liter. So, let's imagine a sphere:

      V = 4/3 * pi * r^3

      And we know what the volume is: 10^200 / 1000 = 10^197 Liters = 10^197 cm^3

      10^197 = (4 * pi) * r^3 / 3
      3 * 10^197 / (4 * pi) = r^3
      3 * 10^2 * 10^65 * 10^65 * 10^65 / (4 * pi) = r^3
      10^65 * (75 / pi)^(1/3) = r
      10^65 * 2.87942 cm = r
      2.87942 * 10^62 m = r
      2.87942 * 10^59 km = r

      1 light year is 9.461 x 10^12 km

      (28.7842 x 10^58 km) / (9.461 x 10^12 km) =
      3 x 10^46 light years (roughly)

      Estimate of the diameter of the universe: 7.8 x 10^9 light years

      So, we'd have a sphere of water (with 1 gram of gold within, we musn't forget that, oh no, Precious, we musn't forgets that) that is larger than our universe. It's about 8 x 10^36 times larger than our universe.

29. QUESTION:
    What's the point of savings @ 5% when inflation and CPI matches it?
    Seems like you never actually "make" money in value.

    I put in an inflation calculator 0 from 1970 to 2000 and the value today is 2

    Then I put 0 in a 5% savings from 1970 to 2000 and the value was 6.

    So what's the point?

    Wouldn't the safer bet just be to buy gold and sell it later as the value would fairly remain the same. Plus the gold would be acceptable internationally if the value of the dollar plummets.

    Am I thinking of this wrong??

    Thanks.

    • ANSWER:
      What's occurring is that you're preserving your purchasing power. If you put it in gold, it may go down in value. Example if you bought gold in the EARLY 80's by the late 90's you would've lost absolute money never mind inflation adjusted dollars.

      Gold and foreign currencies are an investment/speculation that is not guaranteed a return.

30. QUESTION:
    Rate my Random Dark Deck?
    This deck took a little thinking to come up with
    Mosters:22
    1xDark Armed Dragon(SECRET)
    1xRainbow Dark Dragon(SECRET)
    1xE-Hero Neos
    1xThe Dark Creator(SUPER)
    3xArmageddon Knight(SUPER)
    1xJinzo(GOLD,SECRET)
    1xSangan
    2xNecro Gardna(SUPER)
    1xDarklord Zerato(SECRET)
    1xCard Trooper(ULTRA)
    1xNecroface(SUPER)
    2xMarauding Captain(ULTRA,RARE)
    1xSnipe Hunter
    1xOld Vindictive Magician
    1xGoldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World(GOLD)
    1xThe Calculator
    2xBreaker the Magical Warrior(ULTRA,GOLD)

    Spells:13
    1xSoul Absorbtion
    2xAllure of Darkness(SUPER)
    1xSwords of Revealing Light(GOLD)
    2xSoul Release
    1xHeavy Storm
    2xMystical Space Typhoon
    1xMonster Reincarnation
    1xPolymerization(SUPER)
    2xRibbon of Rebirth(RARE)

    Traps:10
    3xMetal Reflect Slime(ULTRA)
    1xSakuretsu Armor
    1xMirror Force(ULTRA)
    1xMagic Cylinder
    1xReturn from the Different Dimension
    1xTorrential Tribute
    1xRaigeki Break
    1xCall of the Haunted

    Extra Deck:1
    Rainbow Neos(GHOST)

    • ANSWER:
      I think that's a little well when I first encountered these. Try wall of revealing light, swords of concealing light and mystical elf (with the spell card Shield and Sword Exchange, you can turn the mystical elf into a dark elf with no side effects since the attack and defense is 800 and 2000 respectively.) You can further upgrade this monster with the equip card Scroll of Bewitchment, which changes the attribute of a monster you have chosen. Also try Gravekeeper's servant if you want it to be really dark since your opponent will waste away his deck after each attack directed to you. Try archfiend cards too. I really like traditional decks.:)

31. QUESTION:
    Program to convert US Public Land Survey description into lat/long?
    Is there an easy-to-use program that will run on a computer or a scientific calculator that will convert PLSS descriptions (State, Principal Meridian name, Township and Range designations with directions, and the section number, quarters, quarter-quarters into Lat/Long?
    I have inherited a gold mine from an uncle (who died very wealthy BTW), and I would like to find this mine.

    No witticisms please.

    • ANSWER:
      I don't know how easy this website's product is to use but it may be able to assist you in conversions between geographic coordinates ( Latitude & Longitude ) Universal Tranverse Mercator ( UTM ) and Public Land Survey coordinates. http://www.igage.com/v7info/pls.htm I hope you find this helpful

32. QUESTION:
    Random Poll that makes no sense!?
    Do you own a gold plated calculator that doesn't work? Why isn't it working, huh? You obviously don't take good care of your stuff!!!! :O!

    Can you pretend that I never asked what I just asked but still admit that you've answered it? Now, how's that going to work? You tell me!

    Do you know why green tea is called 'green' tea while its actual colour is a wee bit orange-ish? It's obviously not green! >:

    Can you give me a reason as to why you DON'T want to buy a blue pen? I mean a GOOD reason.

    Do you collect post-it flags? ADMIT IT! You do! ;P

    How many raisins have you eaten today, huh? Spit it out, I know you've eaten some!

    DROP THAT COOKIE! Immediately! I SAW YOU! Why did you take that cookie?!!!! You haven't finished your dinner now, have you?!

    • ANSWER:
      LMAO ..... uh.. err........ *weird look*..

      Thank god! I was hoping you would say that.. it will work well I think, it's already taking effect, like as if I actually did! But I didn't

      Hahaha I saw green tea on TV and it was a pale transparent green colour.. maybe YOU'RE just brewing it incorrectly! Huh? Well? That's what I thought..

      Well, blue comes off really easily when it's washed, and if I was to inadvertently wash some paper I was writing stuff upon it would all disappear :S why would I want that?

      Wow, I wish I did, they sound interesting, but I have no idea what they are :

      No! I swear, they didn't go into my mouth! I just pretended and they went down my sleeve! :O

      But.. I wasn't fed at all today :S

33. QUESTION:
    I was in the trap door business until the bottom dropped out; then my envelope business folded. Any advice?
    My electric cheese straightner idea pay off either, as well as my idea for fur lined sinks. I invested heavily in a slide rule manufacturing company thinking that calculators were a passing fad. My gold dust venture didn't pan out either.

    • ANSWER:
      I know of an elevator business where you can get in on the ground floor.

34. QUESTION:
    POLL: Is is weird that..............?
    That I take my friend Dylan out and wine and dine him with salted calculator, some gold fish I found on the ground, and my math homework from the week before, and he didnt put out?

    This really happened when we where walking home from after school detention a couple of months ago. We just walked and start eating stuff in our bookbags. DONT WORRY THOUGH!! I got some with force in some random person yard.
    Oh and I forgot it was at Wendys, only the finest.

    • ANSWER:
      POLL: Is is weird?
      No
      << Summons bartender

      "I'll have a double of whatever the gentleman who asked this is having, thanks!"

35. QUESTION:
    Soul Silver/Heart Gold IV Question.?
    So, i have a dragonair, and according to serebii calculators: i have these ivs:
    Average %MinMax
    HP1003131
    Atk1003131
    Def501718
    Sp.Atk502425
    Sp.Def1003131
    Spd502021

    [if you can't understand that, i have 31 IVs in hp, attack, and special def, 17 IVs in def, 24 IVs in special attack, and 20 ivs in speed]

    But my nature is hardy, and i was going to make an attack Dragonite. So because of my nature my attack is hindered, but also increased (EVs) So... my question is: should i keep my Dragonair for the IVs? or get rid of it because of it's nature?

    • ANSWER:
      get rid of it
      go all out on attack and defense

36. QUESTION:
    What electronic device am I?
    I come in various colors: Silver, black, pink, lightblue, brown, gold

    I am significantly smaller than a breadbox

    I am used in many schools and I would help someone entering college.

    I am not a calculator, mp3 player, camera, or laptop

    What am I?

    • ANSWER:
      GPS

37. QUESTION:
    Criminal Law Question?
    OKAY HERE IS THE SCOOP: I HAVE TO RUN THIS QUESTION BY 3-4 PEERS, CO-WORKERS,FRIENDS,FAMILY ETC. BUT TONIGHT I HAVE TO CLEAN THE CHURCH MYSELF. SO, I COME TO THE PEOPLE OF YAHOO WORLD AND ASK THIS QUESTION. IT'S FOR A FINAL. I HAVE ALREADY FINISHED THE OTHER 24 QUESTIONS, BUT THIS SOUNDS LIKE A TRICKY ONE. WILL VOTE FOR BEST. HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT A PARAGRAPH FOR THE ANSWER. THANKS ALL FOR THE HELP. SURE THIS WILL BE FUN FOR SOMEONE OUT THERE, BUT AFTER 24 OTHERS I'M JUST BURNT OUT, PLUS I'M HERE BY MYSELF CLEANING. THANKS ALL. 5 STARS TO THE BEST INDEPTH PRO. ANSWER.
    READY...SET...ANSWER..(lol).

    Bill Smith and his girlfriend Susie Jones decided to visit the local Megla-Mart to buy the newest CD by the heavy metal band, “Momma’s Boy.” Because they needed cash, they formed a plan to break into the house of Bill Smithers a local Certified Public Accountant. The pair approached the Smithers’ porch and gained entrance through an open window located on the first floor. Smith slipped through the window and made his way through the dining room and located a gold plated ten key calculator that Smithers kept above the fireplace. Susie remained outside until she became frightened by the Smithers’ pet rabbit that had hopped onto the porch and then she began to climb through the window by sticking her left leg through the opening. At this moment, Smithers surprised the pair and called the police. Smith quickly ran outside and Jones never completely entered the residence. Smith and Jones are being charged with burglary of a residence. Discuss the following: 1. What are the elements of burglary? 2. Can Jones be charged with burglary considering her entrance into the residence was incomplete? 3. Would your answer change if Smithers lived in old porta potty on a vacant lot?

    SOME GREAT QNSWERS SO FAR, YOU GUYS ROCK!!

    • ANSWER:
      1. The elements of a burglary are breaking into a building and attempting to or stealing something not personally owned.
      2.Jones can be charged with conspiracy to burglary because she was there and because she was attempting to enter the building.
      3.No, my answer wouldn't change because burglary is burglary no matter what the object is that is being burglarized.

38. QUESTION:
    where 2 buy handy weighing scale for jewelry buy and sell business?the sleek type?
    i'd like to venture in gold jewelry retail so i saw the need for this equipment. i want a sleek one, like a calculator. wat do you call this one now?and more or less how much? tnx

    • ANSWER:
      No idea

39. QUESTION:
    Having problems with #10 with beatles songs,can any one help?
    got first 3 songs of beatles,but stuck on 4th one,it shows an office cubicle with computer ,calendar showing "October,calculator,phone ,the computer has the "gold rush' screen stating first clue now open,, Please help me.. thank you

    • ANSWER:
      It's 8 days a week

40. QUESTION:
    Math problem doubling numbers?
    Ok I need help like an equation
    So the problem is if you have a checkerboard with 64 squares. you start of with one piece of gold then double on to the next one 2,4,8,16 so on. I tried to add but the numbers get huge and my calculator wont be able to double anymore. Thanks

    • ANSWER:
      If your question is how many are on the last checkerboard, the equation will be
      2^63 (you start with zero since you put 2^0 = 1 on the first square) and that is
      9,223,372,036,854,775,808.

      I provided a link to a very good tool for math with the current problem's search result:

      http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2^63

41. QUESTION:
    Where can i find a watch like ?
    It's all gold..and i think it has a calculator......and the whole watch it pretty small.

    http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e397/TARCHELODY/Picture1-2.png

    http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e397/TARCHELODY/Picture2-1.png

    Its's the color gold not real gold!

    • ANSWER:
      Yeah, try a big drug store. (only because I will NEVER go to WalMart for ANYTHING !!! )

      If it has a calculator function, it's battery operated; most likely, it's made by Casio. You could also do a Google search for
      'Casio calculator watches' and I'll bet many, many sites appear. The problem with quartz watches is that they are 100% useless when the battery dies; their advantages are that they are thinner, lighter and can do calculations.

      Personally, I'd rather own a hand-held calculator and a mechanical watch, preferably an 'automatic' or the Seiko 'kinetic' models OR the Citizen "Eco-Drive" watches that work on all/any kind of light. (www.bluedial.com has LOTS of those watches.). Some of Eco-Drives have a perpetual calendar function that is programmed through to 2100 and auto-adjusts for leap year !

42. QUESTION:
    This is a Texas joke
    A cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.

    His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling thr ough the sand,
    certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he
    sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

    He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what
    looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this
    is no ordinary genie.

    She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID
    badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook.
    She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie.
    'You know how I work....

    You have three wishes.'

    'I'm not falling for this.', said the cowboy. 'I'm not going to trust a
    FEMA genie.'

    'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks
    like you're a goner anyway!'

    The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
    right.

    'OK! I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.'

    ***POOF***

    The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen,
    and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

    'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

    'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

    ***POOF***

    The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

    'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good
    one!'

    After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says...'I wish that no
    matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'

    ***POOF***

    He was turned into a tampon.

    The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.

    • ANSWER:
      that was absolutely hilarious... i had to forward it... thanx for the laugh...

43. QUESTION:
    Complicated maths question?
    A solid gold sphere of radius 9mm is melted down to make a cylindrical disc of radius 12mm.

    Calculate the thickness of the disc.

    It states not to use a calculator?! how the hell do i work it out now D:
    lmao! at your answer michael, but yes you got the answer, but there is another method apparantly :S

    • ANSWER:
      volume of a sphere is (4/3)πr³
      Volume of a cylinder is πr²h

      Since the volume is the same we have:

      (4/3)π x 9³ = πh x 12²

      pi cancels out:

      h = (4 x 9³) / (3 x 12²) = (4 x 3^6) / (3^3 x 4^2) = 27/4

      Grandpa

44. QUESTION:
    cross word problem for cross word lovers?
    for my students
    1) big foot, king arthur, and the island of atlantis are a few..
    2) ancient calculator
    3) country that recently claimed part of the seabed under the north pole
    4) saddles, briddles crops
    5) lifes nessesity
    6) hurricane that wrecked havoc in hodrus
    7) greenland's boss
    u.s presidant george w. bush made a suprise visit to his coun.
    9)what people in the arctic wear to keep their heads warm
    10) global.....has caused arctic ice to melt
    11) manganese, platinum, and gold are all valuable.....that may lie beneath the artic seafloor
    12) the town crier says hear...hear...
    13)alphabet starters
    14)north...recently said it would declare and dismantle its illegal nuclear weapons programs
    15)chilly hot spot claimed by a number of countries(two words)
    16)continental ......, a gently sloping undersea area
    17) famous battle cry "remember the....!
    18) listening devices
    19)the country 25 across wants to be de-....by the u.s as a nation that sponsers terrorism
    please help answer!!!

    • ANSWER:
      It would help if we knew how many letters. Also, hard to believe this is for "your students"...
      1) legends
      2) abacus
      3) Russia
      4) tack
      5) water
      6) Bill
      7) Denmark
      Karzi
      9) hats
      10) warming
      11) elements
      12) ye
      13) A
      14) Korea
      15) Jammu and Kashmir
      16) shelf
      17) Alamo
      18) ears
      19) don't know 25 across, now do we?

45. QUESTION:
    Chemistry Question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
    Using your calculator, verify that if you have 125 grams of gold, you have about 3.82X10^23 atoms of gold. Show the calculations below.

    • ANSWER:

46. QUESTION:
    Statistics Question?
    I am taking a rather intense statistics class and I have a question about combinatorics.

    This is just a general question to try to explain my problem.

    There are 12 people to be assigned to 3 different teams Red, Blue, and Gold of 5, 4, and 3 people each. How many distinct teams can be formed.

    The formula for answering would be (12 choose 5) * (7 choose 4) * (3 choose 3).

    How do I use the math to work this problem out? and another question how can I work this out on my calculator?

    • ANSWER:
      It depends on your calculator - look for a key (or menu) that says something like nCr.

      If you have a TI-30X, you have to press the PRB key and select it. YOu would type 12, then PRB, select nCr by pressing ENTER, then type 5.

      Similar on a graphing calculator - I think it's under the MATH key. Mathematically, you can figure this out as follows:

      nCr = n! / (r!(n-r)! where ! is the factorial symbol.

47. QUESTION:
    Please help with physics problem!?
    An alpha particle (charge of +2.0e) is sent at a high speed toward a gold nucleus (charge of +79e). What is the electrical force acting on the alpha particle when it is 2.0x10^-14 m from the gold nucleus?

    I'm having trouble with these types of problems and seem to be getting my exponents wrong. Could someone show me how to do this step by step so that I can see if it is me or the calculator? Thank you!

    • ANSWER:
      Quite straightforward.

      2 e = 2 × 1.6022 E-19 = 3.2044 E-19 C
      79 e = 79 × 1.6022 E-19 = 1.2657 E-17 C

      F = K q q' / r² = 8.99 E9 × 3.2044 E-19 × 1.2657 E-17 / (2.0 E-14)² = 91.157 N

48. QUESTION:
    My current situation in my residence, is okay?
    In this computer office alone I am sitting amidst a dozen Pizza Hut boxes, 2 dozen Big Mac wrappers, two empty 2 Liter bottles of Mountain Dew, about a case of Diet Coke cans, a 16 oz. half eaten bag of Rold Gold pretzels, A full ashtray of Camels, a broken solar calculator, a yellow legal pad full of notes that I cannot read what I wrote, and right now all I have in this house is one .5 liter bottle of Sparkletts water.
    Where should I start? Or can it wait 'till next weedend?

    • ANSWER:
      Clean the refrigerator.. throw everything in it away and wash it down .. with a baking soda solution.
      Then go to the grocery store, buy some fresh fruits and vegatables.. a six pack of soda and a box of green tea.. and a pot to boil it in.. and tea pitcher to mix it in.. and two boxes of extra large garbage bags .. with the built in handles.. not the cheap ones.. nope..

      go home put your healthy food in your refrigerator.. take out the boxes of trash bags.. and scoop all that stuff and dump it.. if you find something under it all that you have not seen in a month and didn't miss.. dump it.. you don't need it.. then get your mop and fill up the sink with hot water and Pine Sol and set about washing the walls and tables surfaces.. then sweep the floor.. dump the trash and mop the floor..
      You can start with the bathroom after you make yourself a glass of green tea and collapse cause your too tired and happy about the clean place to sit to eat.

49. QUESTION:
    Guy's here are the thing's you've always wanted to know about women's rules?
    Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive.

    Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job.

    When your man asks you what's wrong, say "Nothing." However, when Oprah, Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura asks you, go into excruciating detail. Leave nothing out.

    The negative effects of cheese puffs and chocolate-chocolate chip ice cream are offset by the positive effects of diet soda.

    Feet are flexible and can be made to fit into shoes varying from size 7 to 9, depending on what's on sale.

    You can skimp on clothes, but a good bra is worth its weight in gold. (That's Victoria's secret.)

    The Patricia Principle: The more you've been trying to attract the attention of a particular man, the more likely it is that you'll run into him when you're sweaty, short of sleep, without makeup, wearing house-painting clothes, with your hair in a bandana.

    The best response to a married man who's hitting on you is, "Say, don't I know your wife?"

    Learn how to say "Back off" very loudly and look fierce while you say it.

    Let every new man in your life know that you've got a black belt in karate.

    Make friends with your hormones. They're what make you colorful and unpredictable. If other people have a hard time with that, that's their problem.

    When you hear your mother's words coming out of your mouth, shut your mouth. Unless your mother was really wise.

    When in doubt, say no.

    You're under no obligation to tell the truth when asked the number of your sexual partners.

    Men love a woman who's good in bed. But not the first time they go to bed with her.

    No matter how much they fight it, all men need a woman to organize their lives and their closets and tell them what kind of hair products to use.

    Consider yourself a sculptor and your man a block of marble. Chip away until you have created someone you can live with. He'll thank you. Later.

    Always remember: Inside the biggest, burliest, most macho man lives an ego as delicate and fragile as a baby chick making its first venture outside the egg.

    Laugh at a man at your own peril.

    The only women who look good first thing in the morning are the women who don't know how to put on makeup.

    When splitting a dinner check with girlfriends, it's perfectly acceptable to take out a calculator.

    If you drop your girlfriends as soon as you have a boyfriend, you will live to regret your decision.

    Food eaten while preparing other food has no calories.

    When consumed for its antioxidant properties, dark chocolate has less fat than broccoli.

    It's a medical fact that some women gain weight although they eat only salads.

    It's another medical fact that too much lettuce can lead to depression.

    Women who never binge have no souls.

    Only a masochist weighs herself the day after a binge.

    Ditto anyone who looks at herself naked in a three-way mirror.

    Even Angelina Jolie has some part of her body she hates.

    Falling in love is a sure way to lose five pounds.

    Getting dumped is a sure way to gain 10.

    Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.

    Except going to your high school reunion and seeing that the prom queen shops at Lane Bryant.

    Black really does make you look thinner.

    • ANSWER:
      Ha ha many a true word said in jest.

      ))

50. QUESTION:
    Need help w/ putting an add out for a new husband?
    I have put a lot of thought into this and these are the things I'm looking for in a potential mate and would appreciate any help from you to squeeze it into 15 words or less for the paper.

    Must wear matching stonewashed denim shorts and jean jacket, doc martin 3 hole with no socks, transitional bifocal glasses, 1 gold or silver capped tooth preferable in the front, wears casio calculator watch, thinning or balding hair some gray ok, long pinky nails, dimples, and must love fried fish with shrimp paste. Note: I don't mind a drinker so as long as it's hard liquor and occasional smoker less than 2 packs a day.

    Thanks!!

    • ANSWER:
      Single White Male needs emotionally unstable woman with low self esteem. Must have chlamydia for convenience.

      Still no takers.